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Bare Nanay

Motherhood | Marriage | Freelancing | Lifestyle

I turned 29 last February.

I am 29 years alive.

I am now older than my younger sister, who is technically a twin for 20 days.

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a lot of things in between.

I am now a little bit different from who I was before.

And hopefully, wiser.


MY LEARNINGS...

On life...

A month ago, I had a chat with a friend over postpartum depression. She mentioned how she felt like she needed to build herself the way she was before.

Here was my reply:

Sorry napakwento ako. But I just wanted to say that you don't need to build the you that you were before. That you was single. No kid. No husband. if there is anything to build, that's a new and better you right now. The you that's a mum. The you that's a wife. The you who is so much stronger, being everything all at once.

Being missus and being nanay: one of my many roles in life
I had a crazy life when I was younger. I used to hear schoolmates saying I was weird because I don't really move so much. Why? Well, I don't usually talk about it, but I fell into depression when I was in 2nd year high school and had to see a shrink. You know, there's a stigma over here where people think you're crazy just because you're seeking a doctor's help, but I'm coming out in the open now hoping that times have changed. Mid-year, my migraines became so frequent that I had to see a neurologist and found out that a part of my brain was swelling. It was a step away from becoming a cancerous tumor. And if that wasn't enough, towards the end of 2002, just a few days after Christmas, I was rushed to the hospital because I couldn't breathe, and became stiff. I was diagnosed with a heart ailment. I can tell you that life was pretty hard.

In college, I think for the most part, I managed my academics, personal, and social life quite well. I partied, played online games, had a boyfriend and managed to graduate in flying colors, still. I remember reading the dean's list at the school bulletin when a girl from the lower batch talked to me and said while pointing at my 1x1 photo, "Ate, ikaw yung di ba? Nag-aaral ka pala". (That's you, right? I didn't realize you're studying well.) 

I had that aura.

There is so much of who we were that's worth missing: the energy, the freedom, the parties we could go to. Heck! I even miss the skin I had before the stretch marks and the pimples when my hormones went ballistic on me. I realized, though, that no matter how carefree life was (except for the part that I got sick), the person I am now is who I love most. I may no longer be the young, free-spirited and happy-go-lucky Janina that I was, but I am definitely a loving, more mature and grounded woman, wife and mother. I'm not saying that no one has the right to miss the old us, but we're already here, and we surely cannot go back to that, but we can always make a fresh start.

So, build the you that's a wonderful person, still, even with the many and new hats you wear.


On finances

We may not always have a lot, but we always have enough. 

That's my mantra in life. Contented? Maybe not, but I am happy having enough.

For the most part of my life, I was well-off. We weren't rich, but we were able to afford little luxuries here and there. After graduation, I left home to fend for myself. I paid my own rent, utilities, and groceries. I was able to afford to spoil my mum with clothes and food, and even pay for my grad school fees.

When I got pregnant, I had to resign because the environment stressed me. I was in customer service and I ate complaints for lunch, snacks and dinner. Losing my salary was a big blow to our finances, and when I resigned, my husband had to shoulder our regular monthly expenses with the addition of saving for childbirth.

But I think it did us well because we learned to live with my husband's salary alone.

We learned to save. As we are a breastfeeding and cloth diapering family, we save 100% on milk expenses and 50% on diapers (because we use disposables when go out). We also co-sleep, so we didn't spend money for a crib and the accessories that come with it. We don't own a single credit card and we don't pay for a helper's services.

We have ventured into entrepreneurship, freelancing and work-from-home, and now that both of us are earning, I am proud to say we still live by my husband's salary. Sometimes, it's tough. 2016 had given us a lot of financial difficulties, but we were able to push out of it because we knew how to live within our means.


Our SocialGen Family. This is my first regular job as a WaHM, and I am extremely thankful to have found them.

On motherhood

On my son's 1st birthday, this was an excerpt of my birthday message:

I can wish you a lot of things like be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or the president of this country, but mum only wants you to be a good man, and I pray that I will always find the strength to raise you as one.

You will one day be a student, an employee, a boss, a husband, a father… And Mum’s only wish is that whatever path it is that you will pursue, pursue to be good and happy at all times.

I may not be able to give you the world, but you will always have the best of me.


Crazy days with my baby.
At 21 months, he has become extremely active and loud. I am not restrictive of him. I let him climb things. I let him walk on his own. I let him play with grass, soil and fallen leaves. I want him running around in beaches, rolling on the grass and playing with bubbles. Why? Because when he feels free, I hear his laughter, and I need that memory to keep me sane because it's such a tough job to be a parent.

I've had people in my life laughing over and questioning our decisions to breastfeed, cloth diaper, babywear, homeschool and co-sleep, but we always stood our ground. Every decision we make will always be informed ones.

I've learned that we have different ways in how we raise our children, and it is painful to hear when people are telling you that you're not doing it right. Perhaps my parenting ways aren't as attractive to other parents, but it is to us.

I take care of my son. Occasionally, he falls and gets bruised, probably small cuts too. He's going to get some more in the coming years, maybe even a broken heart in a decade or so. But one thing I'm sure of is that I'm going to be there to pick him up every single time.




Becoming a mother was something I have wanted. Now that I am here, I can't begin to tell you how much irony there is to it. Motherhood is bloody hard, but it is worthwhile. I had been kicked, bitten, peed, pooped, and drooled on. A few times, he had thrown his toy car straight to my forehead and kicked my monitor while I was in the middle of work. But a lot of times, we run around, laugh, eat, dance, sing and read together, and every day he smiles at me. And to me staying and just being with him in these early years had always been enough.

_____________________________________


What are your recent learnings? I'd love to hear from you. :)


More personal learnings coming up on marriage and faith.


9:18 PM 19 comments
Background image: New York Fertily Services


Egg freezing is one of the ways that a woman’s egg can be preserved to be used later on. It is the process in which a woman's eggs are extracted, frozen and stored. In the future, the eggs can be thawed, fertilized, and transferred to the uterus as embryos. Sounds like a tedious process to do but many women choose egg freezing.

It is becoming increasingly popular among women. In the Philippines, there are already several fertility clinics offering the procedure. Some notable local celebrities like fashion designer Mich Dulce, and DJ and TV host Sam Oh, underwent egg freezing. 

There's a lot of buzz on fertility dropping during 30s. Some women who are career and goal oriented, mostly those who have a high position at work or have great dreams they want to achieve first before settling down by having a family or those in flourishing careers opt to use egg freezing so they won’t worry about possible infertility in the future.

A woman is born with a set number of eggs to use during her entire lifetime. The body starts releasing the eggs during puberty, once a month during menses. By instinct, the body releases the best eggs first, which can happen usually when the woman is in her 20s. This is why women are most fertile in their 20s. By the time she reaches 30, her fertility begins to decline. And by the time a woman reaches 40 or 50, her fertility takes a serious downward dive. So can a woman get pregnant naturally in her 50s? Probably not. Which is why egg freezing could be a solution.

That being said, some women decide to seek help from fertility specialists to help them preserve their good eggs now so they can use them in the future when they are ready to start a family. This is a brilliant idea; however, this process can be too pricey for some.
Is this advisable? Some would advise other women to go through this route; however, getting pregnant the natural way is still the easiest way to go. Each woman has her own decision though so if going through egg freezing is something that she really wants, she should go for it.


3:56 PM No comments
Friendly. Cheerful. Happy.

These are the usual adjectives that describe my 20-month old son's disposition.

Our family of three had celebratory dinner at Buffet 101 a few weeks ago. My husband left to get his next plate while I fed Popy. He sat on his high chair by the aisle. A woman was about to pass behind him from his right. He watched her, and when she was close enough, grabbed her by her wrist, smiled and said hi. The woman, in awe, stopped by and greeted back. Popy even said goodbye when she left. He did this to three more people.

He is, most of the time, but definitely not always and he seems to be comfortable at being cranky and naughty when with me than when he's with his Tatay.

I'm a yaya-less work-at-home mom who spends time with Popy 24/7. We've had our highs and lows with the lows occurring mostly a few minutes before he naps and when he sees Hotwheels in the toy store and I refuse to buy it (but the father gives in). It gets hard and tricky on weekdays because I have an 8-hour shift and deadlines to meet, and a tantrum, of course, delays me.

Thankfully, like an answered prayer, I was invited by Smart Parenting to attend their Mom Workshop!





Dubbed as Smart Parenting Mom Workshops 1: Raising Toddlers, it was held last March 18 at the Makati Diamond Residences. I so badly needed it. I was able to tag-along my co-mommy blogger and real life beshie (lol) Ferry of ferrywrites.com, my husband Gab and Popy.



Taming Tantrums was the first talk for the afternoon, led by Michelle Tambunting of Young Creative Minds Preschool. Toddlers can be impatient and impulsive, defiant, curious and active, and often have trouble being reasonable. With these, she stressed on the following, among others, but I would like to give emphasis on these three:


1. The importance of understanding them by putting ourselves in their shoes - I'd like to believe that I've tried my best to practice this since day 1. Everytime he was fussy and crying inconsolably, I kept in mind that he's trying to tell me something whenever he's crying, that the world is so much different from the comfort of my tummy and that it was a call that I need to answer, especially that he can't express himself in sentences just yet.

2. Talking in a tone of voice one notch lower than their pitch - We tend to be a notch higher than our son thinking that he's crying and screaming so loudly, that maybe he can't hear us. But we need to talk to him softly, but firmly. We, actually, attended a Waldorf course that encouraged us to call our kids' names in a certain tone, almost melodious, to calm them when they're throwing fits.

3. Explaining our point of view briefly - Okay, I'm a bit guilty of this one. I'm very logical and I tend to explain in long logical litanies. And yes, most probably he won't understand all these logic that I try to tell him.

Michelle also discussed how we can raise kids effectively in this digital age. I'm a natural parenting advocate, but I have to admit that the digital world is something I can't dodge, especially that I work online. Being yaya-less with no other relatives nearby to help me, of course, my son sees how much time I spend in front of the computer. Tendency is, he sits beside me and watches YouTube shows from my mobile just to keep him busy. What I do is, I try to filter what he watches, which are all educational, and he only watches while I work, which isn't too long. After that, it's reading, play and nap time in no paticular order. We have art time somewhere in between, too.



There were also talks by Dr. Carmina Arriola-delos Reyes, a pediatrician and infectious diseases specialist, on pain and fever management and Nicole Hernandez for Belo Baby and how she found the perfect skin care products for her kids.




The last segment was by Arceli Tan of Insular Life who talked about Financial 101 for us parents. We're very much considering this for Popy's future and even asked my husband to speak to her, personally.

We were all treated to a wonderful buffet by Makati Diamond Residences, giveaways from the event's generous sponsors - Insular Life, Belo Baby, and Calpol - and partner concessionaires - Smart Steps and Giant Carrier.




Belo Baby and Nature to Nurture

GSK's Calpol

Pumplepie

Insular Life

Oh, and we don't always win raffles, but when we do, we do it together. Lol! Gab and I won a Belo Baby gift pack each. So lucky of us!

That's me (2nd from the left) and Gab (4th from the left). Look at that happy guy!

Gift packs we won. Hihi! Sorry, the little one unboxed his Tatay's already.

Every momma got a loot bag from Smart Parenting!

_____________________________________________________

For more vital parenting information visit www.smartparenting.com.ph and follow them on Facebook, Instagram (@smartparenting) and Twitter (@_smartparenting).

Summit Media has 15 websites reaching an average of 22 million viewers monthly, making it the leading lifestyle digital network in the country. Sixteen million of that audience is from the Philippines, representing 27% of the country's total internet population. For more information, visit www.summitmedia.com.ph.
6:44 PM No comments
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Hello! I'm Nanay Nini

Mom | Wife
Digital Marketer | Copywriter | Blogger
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