Bare Nanay: August 2017

Let's talk a bit about my work history.

Initially, I wanted to talk about how much time I spent in commuting to my work places since 2009, but then I realized my commuting horror stories weren't the reason I became a freelancer.

I've mentioned bits and pieces of my corporate/ops kind of life in my other blog posts, so if you're a regular reader or a friend of mine, you can skip this part if you want to. Reading it won't hurt though. I swear! :)

In 2014, I was a customer service manager in a big retail store (if not the biggest in the country). I found out I was two months pregnant that November. My work required me to roam three floors and assist the calmest to the most irate customer in the universe. Kidding, but yes, they were irate, some even threatening. Needless to say, I resigned because aside from my crazy morning sickness that took up the entire day and my frequent visits to the ER, the environment wasn't very conducive for a pregnant woman.

It took a big big blow on our finances.

After giving birth, people kept asking when I'm going back to work. I tried my luck in writing because that's something I love to do. My sister gave me her old laptop, so I can start taking on jobs, and I did get them. Not regular stints, but often enough to get us through tough times. I remember running out of rice, and using a project's pay to buy 5kg. I had little triumphs along the way. But the when-are-you-going-back-to-work question became more frequent when I was 3-6-12 months postpartum.

To be honest, after my son turned a year, I was offered a regular writing job that will pay me better than my previous customer service job. We tried so hard to find a daycare or a nanny, but things never seemed to fit.

Then we were told we had to move to a new apartment. The cheapest and nearest (to my husband's workplace) was 25% more expensive than the one we had. It was so financially difficult for us.

I promised my husband I will find a more stable online job to help us get through...

And I did!

I started working as a B2B Marketing Consultant for an Australian company last October, a month after we moved to a new apartment. Then just last April, my husband moved to a new company and the week before that I got a new part-time job as a Content Marketing Copywriter for a Canadian company. I still accept writing projects from time to time, too.

My daily grind. :)

Thank God for freelancing because it solved a lot of struggles in our lives. I no longer need to sacrifice time away from my son. I am able to raise him and work at the same time. I also love having the time to make home-cooked meals. On top of that, I am able to blog, pursue my advocacies and manage a small online shop. We're far from being rich, but life is definitely more comfortable. We have even started building our own home. :)

Spelling Freedom with Freelancing

By definition, Freelancing is when you're a self-employed individual offering your skills and services to clients or business without necessarily being bound to a single employer or a long-term contract.

In fact, according to Upwork, a leading global online jobs platform, the Philippines is the third highest earning country in the world when it comes to freelancing. Believe it or not, there are over 1.4 million Filipinos registered in Upwork alone.

If you haven't tried freelancing, now's a good chance to consider. Why?

Well, there are a lot of freelancers attesting to the fulfillment of their #Lifegoals through freelancing. I am one of them. Like any other profession, freelancing has its own struggles. We all need to make eye-catching profiles, CVs and cover letters to several companies to get accepted. But if you wish to feel the empowerment that freelancing can give you, allow us to spell it to you with F-R-E-E-D-O-M.

1. F for Flexibility and Autonomy

In the Digital Age, we can work anytime and anywhere. Say goodbye to commuting and work at your own pace with the clients you want to work with and the projects you want to work on.

2. R for Rewarding Career

Freelancing has paved the way in pursuing dream jobs (writing, in my case) and empowered many individuals to nurture skills and passions.

3. E for Endless Possibilities

The world is your oyster. There numerous opportunities and possibilities that you can pursue, now that you have full control of your career, profession and time. No more long energy-draining meetings and long commutes.

4. E for Enables you to design your own lifestyle

Are you a morning or night person? Do you prefer to work full-time or part-time? Do you want to work but still have the time to complete that business plan of yours? Well, you whatever you choose, you can. There's no stopping you in designing how you want your week to go.

5. D for Do things your way

Being in control of your work, surroundings and growth means getting results just the way you envisioned it.

6. O for Own your time

I've worked while in a resort away from the city. I've worked while sipping my favorite coffee in a cafe. I've worked while visiting friends. Freelancing enables me to take a vacation or go on a date with my husband for as long as I get the job done.

7. M is for Make room for the people and things that truly matter

Last March, the Australian bosses of one of the companies I work came to the Philippines to bond with the Philippine Team. We had an awesome time in Bohol! We went there together with our loved ones. I had my husband and son with me. We were like one big happy family.

During our conference, the bosses called us by batch to talk about our experience with the company, and I cried while thanking them because they've made so many things possible for me as a mother. Not only did it help us financially, but it helped me gain better self-worth and an opportunity to grow career-wise without sacrificing my time with my family.

This is my numero uno reason for freelancing.

My SocialGen Family in Bohol!

Convinced, now?

If you're itching to learn more about the limitless opportunities of being a freelancer, join Manila Workshops with the support of the Department of Information Communications and Technology (DICT) at the 2nd Freelancer Fair on Sept. 2, 2017. It will be held at the Bayanihan Center, Pioneer, Pasig City. It's the largest gathering of freelancers, business owners and brands for a whole day of talks on the Freelancing Landscape and the numerous opportunities in store for both existing and aspiring freelancers.

This year's theme is Cultivating Relationships, as inspired by the mission to cultivate, nurture and help more people discover how freelancing can help them achieve both professional and personal goals.

For more information about The Freelancer Fair, visit their Event Page.

To learn more about Manila Workshops, the event's organizer, connect with them on Facebook and Twitter. You may also visit their official website for their upcoming events.

Want to attend?

As a treat to my readers, get Php 200 off their regular rate when you register here and use the promo code TFF17blog_NP200off.

See you there!
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*About The Freelancer Fair:
The Freelancer Fair is an annual event started by Manila Workshops, headed by the team's CEO - Ginger Arboleda, a former employee, freelancer and now a serial entrepreneur/technopreneur, and mom blogger. The Freelancer Fair was built especially for aspiring and existing freelancers, companies, brands and organizations who want to support the Philippines' freelancing industry.

11:21 PM No comments

If you know me, how would you describe me?

I usually get cheerful, friendly and helpful (must come from the work that I do). My husband would probably say I'm smart, a know-it-all, and very sociable.

I am a wife, a doting mother to a two-year old boy, an advocate of many things, and a woman with many hats.

But...

Once upon a time, 2002 to be specific, I was clinically depressed.

If you knew me then, you'd probably describe me the same thing as how everyone else described me:

WEIRD

Yes, weird.

In 2002, my heart was broken for the first time, and it shattered to a million pieces that I couldn't repair on my own. I was always dizzy, fainted a lot. I slept in the classroom every chance I got. I was angry. I was in denial. I started having an eating disorder, and if that wasn't enough, before the year ended, I was diagnosed with a heart ailment and had a tumor in my brain.

I wanted to die, and I did try. Twice, to be exact.

I kept this to for a long time because there's a stigma here. In western countries like the US, people see a shrink for the littlest of things. But here, when you say you're seeing a psychiatrist (and I have seen two), you're automatically tagged as "crazy".

And I was already being called weird. Crazy would have been too much.

One time, after my mother found me with a bleeding left hand and a small knife on the right, she cried and asked me, "Kami ba hindi mo mahal kaya hindi mo kami naiisip?"

Mahal.

And so I bounced back. Not immediately, but really really slow.

I thank God for that kind of love, because it kept me alive.

Because despite being clinically depressed; my life didn't end with a period "."

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World Experience Philippines, an NGO will be promoting the advocacy of eliminating shame and stigma through an art exhibit. Boxless Society is a support group for artists with mental illness. Mental illness is nothing more than an illness, and nothing less; and that we're all capable to function in society with proper management.

The exhibit will showcase art from Cesar Lampong, Darlene Turla, Dina Capute Cagaanan, Elaine de Guzman, Eliza "Z" Fontanilla D., JA Turla, Jayson Narvaez, Jessica ANtonio, Kates Ante, Mimi, and Tisa_Arte_de_T.

The exhibit will open on August 12 from 5PM at Sining Kamalig, Upper Ground Floor, Ali Mall, Araneta Center, Cubao, QC.

Admission is free.

Watch their video here:

https://www.facebook.com/SiningKamaligArtGallery/videos/1631992346825248/

For more information on the event, you may check their event page via this link.
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Taking care of our mental health is important and we often overlook it because we're too embarrassed to admit that we need help.

Even as a mom, I have often felt I'm going to lose it soon. Ever heard of postpartum depression? It's very real, but a lot of us doesn't want to speak up because we're afraid that we will be judged as "maarte".

Today, I've decided to come out and tell this story, so I can break free from what used to cloud me. Because right now, if you feel you're in a dark place, know that it isn't wrong to admit that you need some help.

I pray that the world is a better place for us; that we are not judged so easily; that we are offered a listening ear, a pat on the back or a warm embrace. Because it's true that we do not know everyone's story, and the one smiling at you may be hurting the most.

I pray that the world is kinder.

My life didn't end with a period "." It will end when it does, but definitely, not now.

7:26 PM No comments

Hindi sukatan na naging mabuting magulang ka yung makapagpalaki ka ng mga anak na balang araw ililibre ka sa unang sweldo nya o yung buwan-buwan bibigyan ka ng allowance. Ang sukatan na naging mabuting magulang ka ay yung makita mo yung anak mo na maging mabuting magulang sa magiging anak nya.

(Good parenting does not mean raising a child who would one day treat you on his first salary or give you a monthly allowance. The true measure of good parenting is when you see your child grow up to be a good parent to his own.)

Non-verbatim.

This was a lesson on the utang-na-loob culture that I learned from a churchmate during one of our small group meetings and I kept this in my heart.

I hear a lot of stories like this.

This isn't merely to create ingrates out of ourselves nor to discourage anyone from giving. In a mummy forum alone, I have read a hundred woes of moms whose parents or in-laws are asking for allowances from them despite their own financial struggles.

I cringe with the thought that they would go as far as berate their fully-grown children with the lines, "Ako ang naghirap dyan! Siyam na buwan ko yan dinala. Binihisan ko. Pinakain ko. Pinaaral. Ako dapat ang makinabang." (I sacrificed a lot for him. I carried him for 9 months. Clothed him. Fed him. Sent him to school. I should benefit from him.)

Cringe.

Why did we have children in the first place?

I love my husband. My husband loves me. Our son is the fruit of our love. We had a child because we love each other, wanted a family, and wanted to share that overflowing love to our own.

Parenting changed Gab and I in so many beautiful ways.

In fact, we only wish our son three things each year that he celebrates his birthday:

1. That he knows he's loved.

2. That he always choose to do good

3. That he grows up happy

So, we will never be the kind of parents to berate him over these matters.

He will never have to hear from us that he owes us anything; be it my pregnancy, the 12-hour labor, the scar on my tummy, the roof above his head, the food he eats, the clothes he wear nor his education.

Our children do not owe us anything. They have not asked to be born. That's our doing. So the moment we conceive, it's our responsibility to give them a decent life. Our responsibility, alone. No child deserves to be put through a situation where he is told that he needs to pay for our sacrifices.

Imposing versus Giving

Expecting or imposing and freely giving are two very different things. They're a whole world apart.

My sister once said this:

Parents are beautiful when they think their children do not owe them anything.

Children are beautiful when they think they owe their parents everything.

Growing up, we weren't rich. We had enough. My father was a high school grad who was once a janitor in Manila Doctors and flew abroad for greener pastures. My mother used to to be an accountant then became a homemaker by the time we were in high school. Both were hardworking and after we graduated from college, they told us "ok na kami" (we're fine).

In our family, the mere fact that we graduated and can start fending for ourselves, meant "help" to our parents' finances. No one ever asked each other for anything. They never told us to treat them for dinner or to buy them gifts.

But we treat them meals. We buy them gifts. We love them, and despite being far from home and living our own lives for eight years now, they are still around for us. They're still looking for us when we come home late. They still worry and bombard us with a gazillion messages when we don't reply asap. Papa still gives us hugs and Mama still holds our arms when we walk.

They never asked. But we always did. That's the beauty of never having to impose anything, and still end up giving.

Sabi nga nila, "Hindi nyo kami obligasyon. Pero kayo obligasyon namin kayo habang buhay." (They said, "We aren't your obligation. But you are our obligation for as long as we live.)

My parents are building their own house before Papa retires. In Papa's own words, "Pag-uwi ko magtatayo tayo ng business. Lahat ng meron ako, sa atin yun. Kung anong plano nyo sa future, susuportahan ko kayo". (When I go home, we'll put up a business. Everything that I have is our family's. Whatever plans you have for your future, I will support you."

You're probably rich that's why you're not expecting anything from your child...

We wish!

What my husband I learned during this past two years of being parents, was to prepare for old age and our son's. We are building our own home, and hopefully, another for Popy, in the future. We're just an average earning couple who are saving as much as we can. We are planning for a business that can sustain us in old age, that can continue to support our son when he needs help, and that we can pass on to him on our demise.

So you don't believe in utang-na-loob?

Utang na loob. Of course, I do. We do.

Personally, I'm very appreciative and always repay whatever debt we have, more so if it's utang-na-loob. It's just that for us, whatever help we extend, we give it out of kindness and not because we're expecting them to repay us one day. Same goes with us having a child, we didn't bring one into the world to pressure him into helping us survive financially in the future. He is not our retirement fund.

I love my parents for everything that they did for us. If things didn't turn out so well for all of us, say, only I can be sent to school, then I would have worked and helped them send my younger sister to school.

But just because our lives turned out fine doesn't mean, I don't appreciate their sacrifices. They're going to grow old one day, and we'll be around for them when they start finding it hard to walk or see or do things on their own.

Wholeheartedly repaying them isn't all just about the money. It's continuously loving and respecting each other even after our kids have grown wings of their own.

So to cap it off, in behalf of my husband, let me just say this for our son:

"We will forever be here for you. Even when you've grown taller, stronger, more capable than us and even when you start a family of your own, we will be here. We will never ask you to give. We will love you unconditionally. And if you love us just the same that, my child, will always be enough..."